No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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