you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
is wine microwaveable?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
