I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
