Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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