How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
You work out of a Hotel?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
