it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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