i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
