He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
