Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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