If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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