I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
