R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize