the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
