porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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