I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
