you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize