All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
