The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
