i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Life is so much better after having sex.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
