And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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