His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize