Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
