So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
