Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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