you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
