I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize