did you get engaged???
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
