Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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