that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
