I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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