i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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