he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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