Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
