He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
