But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
