Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
