absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize
