your thong is hanging out like whoa
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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