I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
