TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
