So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
