Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
