just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Randomize
