so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize