I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
