If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
