No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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