Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize