Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
