You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
