The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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