i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
