May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
