I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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