smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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