Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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