So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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