something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
