He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Just pee around me
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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