clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
