We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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