im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
