Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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